• Writing about headcanon things • Filling in gaps in history (which...more headcanon things) • Writing up possible memories for him to regain/possible situations in which they're triggered • IDK...making notes? • Writing general Fenris things like a pretentious fuck
Fenris didn’t have many wants or lack thereof at this stage in his life. Danarius told him to do something and he did it. Danarius told him what was expected of him and he delivered. He did remember when he had too many questions and hesitations. He remembered a time when he was picky about what he preferred in his duties, not that he ever had a choice, but he had preferences. He didn’t like when Danarius would have him deliver messages around the estate to his understudies and partners, for example. But his master seemed to have great faith in Fenris’s ability to scare the pants off of someone, yet there were some days in his youth where he would march up to a revered magister with his claw flexing and ready and his cat-like green eyes would lock with older, colder, slate grey ones — he would feel an icy grip on his heart, which is probably a projection when he looks back on it. Fear would grip him, but he was taught to do away with such useless hindrances and do as he was told. He wasn’t allowed to be stopped by fear or guilt.
And he wasn’t stopped by fear or guilt.
Each time he would march into the guest room or show up at the estate doors, let in by a servant once they realized who he was, and he would glow with a brilliant intensity and shove his hand through a magister’s chest. Either he would threaten and they would relent or he would deliver their deaths as swiftly as Danarius had ordered. Over time he began to consider that there was something to what his master said; that fear was pointless and so was guilt. Those emotions were the fault of man and he was no longer a man but a weapon, and weapons don’t hesitate to kill.
He tried to live up to that expectation. At times it seemed impossible, just as it would sometimes come too easy.
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timeasmymeasure
MEMORIES
Date: 2021-01-21 04:44 pm (UTC)PAST EVENTS (HEADCANON/CANON)
Date: 2021-01-21 04:44 pm (UTC)HEADCANON NOTES
Date: 2021-01-21 04:45 pm (UTC)PRETENTIOUS PROSE BULLSHIT IDK
Date: 2021-01-21 04:45 pm (UTC)Fenris and Fear/Guilt (post markings)
Date: 2021-01-21 04:53 pm (UTC)COMMON NIGHTMARES
Date: 2021-01-21 05:02 pm (UTC)meadowlark/dataBURST centric stuff
Date: 2021-02-16 10:16 pm (UTC)